CanadatoCaymantoCanada

I'm not dead- the pictures to prove it

2012-03-01T02:22:00.001-05:00

Tonight I just couldn't sleep. This isn't anything unusual these past few months. There are too many reasons why sleep evades me. I won't bore you with them all. Or maybe I should. That might actually help me sleep......
1. My niece was diagnosed with Leukemia. You can learn more about her and my sister and brother in law here https://www.facebook.com/#!/Bronwyn.vs.leukemia

Part of a painting I did for my sister and her family

2. We are settling in. This would seem like a reason to rest well and be content. Yes those things are true and have helped me to rest easy. However, being the 'new' family is still difficult. Also as we make friends and start to love our surrounding and love seeing our kids thrive and not just survive I get a little nervous. I just don't want to be in a situation anytime soon where we would have to leave it all. I'm sure that won't happen but having lived through some stuff I know to never get too comfortable. I think that's sad and that is what keeps me up.

A super yummie latte I made at work. I LOVE my job.

3. Money sucks. I'm pretty sure this subject keeps more than just me awake some nights. Having said that I can't really complain. We are doing well enough. We can buy food and pay bills. That's pretty freakin great.
4. My son will be in middle school next year! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

5. I love to help people. Help with whatever I can. Many times in my life I have let that part of me trump the needs of my family and mostly myself. I'm working on it. I find myself feeling guilty that I can't support or really 'be there' for everyone who I see needs it. That keeps me up.

Trinity and I ready for a night at the theatre

6. Hey this is working I'm getting really sleepy. I'm gonna try and catch some zzzzzz's

Trying to hang on- this will probably not make sense to you but it's helping me

2011-05-02T11:55:00.000-05:00

This thread we are hanging on is getting pretty thin. Just when I've thought "OK we're doing good. We can do this." something comes and slaps us across the face.

I recently have chosen to let it go. There's no such thing as a free lunch. That's life.

So what now? Just keep moving forward. Trying not to shut down. Learning to care about me and mine first. There is a healthy way to do that. I'm looking for it.

People get ready - aka reality bites

2011-03-08T16:11:00.001-05:00

I'm Ready. Ready to blog. Ready to speak. Ready to tell.

Tomorrow will mark us being in B.C for 3 months. We've moved enough times to know that there's something about the 3 month mark. Something magical?? Maybe not, but definitely something.

Winnipeg
When Ryan, Silver (5 months old) and I moved to Winnipeg we spent our first 3 months living with a friend. It was a bit of a crazy time. Ryan worked nights, Silver cried a A LOT and I don't know if I ever had a shower that whole time.....I'm sure I must have. But no matter how stressful it was we always had a plan, a DREAM, something to work towards. Around the 3 month mark we moved into our own place, Ryan started school and Silver started walking (kinda). Things were on the right track. We had begun living our dream. What was the DREAM you ask..... getting an Education which meant living as poor students and suffering through years and years of shuffling school,work(many jobs between us), kids and holding our marriage together. We hoped for Ryan to one day come out with a Degree and begin a fulfilling life of molding the minds of the worlds youth while supporting our little family and paying back thousands in student loans. Well that was the DREAM at least.

School ended, the Degree was gotten and our whole world changed. We had lived so many years without family around that we always knew we wanted that closeness and so made the choice to go and get it. This was the best decision for our family at the time. We made a good choice. We moved again.

Island
The first 3 months we spent adjusting to a whole new world. New people, places and things. New weather, new clothes, new (to us) culture. A world of NEW. There were some tears and moments of fear for all of us. But we had a plan, a DREAM, something to work towards. To live in a place where Ryan could use the education he had worked so hard for and be close to some family. We knew we had chosen a life that would 'pay' us little but that's alright when you have a DREAM and a plan. At the 3 month mark we were used to the heat (kinda), the kids knew their extended family and we were getting a hold of "how things worked".

East Coast
Fastforward. Another move. This time to a place where we thought we could live out at least part of that DREAM and Ryan could make use of that Education and we could live a simple but full life on little. The first 3 months were spent in a panic. Finding a place to live and to work. Trying to build some kind of support system and be a support to others. Trying to make the best choices for our family. Once we hit the 3 month mark things were looking Up Up Up! The kids were in school and making fast friends (not without hiccups). Jobs (not great ones) were in place and would help us to continue our journey and work toward that DREAM. Good friends for Ryan and I were in place (Great friends).

West Coast
The NOW. Tomorrow the 3 month mark. I know it won't be the same as the other 3 month marks we had. We don't have a DREAM right now. I am waiting for the next kick in the teeth moment when we need to reinvent ourselves again. We don't really have something we are working towards or dreaming about. Oh Ryan loves his job don't get me wrong. I just started one too and so far so GREAT. But there is something very different this time around. Hope is missing. It's hard to DREAM when you have lived through some pretty DREAM busting times. We feel like failures who haven't made the choices some others would have. What we worked toward for so many years seems wasted. While others were working and building up a business or being trained AND paid are so far ahead of us. Yeah I KNOW it's not a competition....... We are NOT the only people in North America who are living through the same thing. Years of school only to find you can't get a job. So MORE school??? Or start at level zero somewhere and just take the years to at least get paid and work your way Up Up Up??

Starting tomorrow
I am going to be more selfish. More selfish with my time, energy and thoughts. I'm going to continue to know who I am and although I may not know at this time What I Want, I will love my life and the unknown future. I will try and help my children see the world through my eyes, their own and others. I will love my neighbours and help those in need. I am not going to give into my fears because a life filled with fear is full of emptiness. I will work towards having a DREAM again, because a life without a DREAM is no life for me...... or YOU.

Merry Happy Ho ho ho!

2010-12-23T17:08:00.006-05:00

Merry Happy Holiday

Christmas concert 2009

What a year this has been. One year ago we were celebrating Christmas on Grand Cayman Island with family:) It was a very special Christmas for our family. We had been living and working in Grand Cayman and spending time with Gramma and Gramps! We took a huge chance and left Winnipeg where we had lived for 7 years. It was the only 'home' our kids knew. But we always wanted to live close to Ryan's parents so our kids would know them. Our time in Cayman was not without difficulty but time spent with family was well worth all the trouble.

Old but Young Friends

Once we knew we would not be staying in Cayman we planned to move out East in hopes of a good quality of life for us and our kids. Part of this "good life" would involve Ryan finding full time work that paid a decent amount of money. After many months of pressing on in Nova Scotia trying to make our way there it became very clear that we were not making it.

Hull's Harbour, Nova Scotia

We spent a lot of time and money trying to build something there but it never happened. We were blessed with meeting some amazing people, connecting with 'old' (but very young looking friends) and receiving heaps of help from all. But in the end we couldn't provide for ourselves properly and we saw little hope for the future. Within two weeks of things falling apart we were all packed up again (yes it almost killed us) and off to BC, Ryan's home province.

in the park behind our place

We have now been living in Coquitlam for two weeks. We got here with much needed help from family and are blessed with a comfortable and safe place to live. We are looking for work and constantly pulling our selves together. It's almost Christmas and this year is different from our past Holidays. We are more thankful for the little things and just being together and having the chance to see family and friends who really know us is a huge blessing.

Some of you will understand and some of you may think we have totally lost it. We are always trying to do what is best for our family and our future. Sometimes when you take chances you fail. This we know too well. But from those failures come wisdom and understanding. We will be working on putting that wisdom and understanding into action. The kids are doing very well and seem to understand totally why we had to leave Nova Scotia and begin all over again here. It could be that everything happening around Christmas was one of the best blessings for them. Christmas can be a great distraction:)

So Merry Christmas! Happy New Year and all that! We know we are hoping for a VERY Happy New Year:)

Love The Hayes

Introducing.....

2010-08-26T06:55:00.005-05:00

The newest member of our family

Fergus
Yesterday was Trinity's birthday and that's the day Fergus came home with us to stay. We have been seeing him off and on for 3 weeks. The family that we got him from had to give him up because their cat (one of 3 they have) was not a fan of Fergus. The cat is bigger than the dog so poor Fergus didn't win any fights. They loved him but felt it was best to find him a new home. So lucky us!

Trinity is madly in LOVE with him already. Ever since the first day we met him she has been a changed girl. Much more relaxed and happy.

He's a real sweet heart. We have only heard him bark twice. Both times at his own reflection in the mirror. he's a perfect addition to our family.

Maybe you'll meet him one day.....if your lucky.

My little Big 7 year old

2010-08-24T08:14:00.002-05:00

August 25th Trinity turns 7. That's only 3 more years till 10 then 6 more years till she's driving then 3 more years till shes off to University! Yikes. I think I'm getting ahead of myself (as usual).

So here we are just a week until school starts and nothing is "normal". We move into our place Sept 1st and as of right this moment don't have anything to really move in besides ourselves, some clothes, a few toys, a Wii (but no T.V) and some food. A great friend is giving us some kitchen stuff like forks, knives, spoons and a table to use as well as some sheets (still working on getting the beds).

In th midst of all the unknown we are doing our best to focus on Trinity and give her a great birthday! I think it will be one she will remember for many years to come. She already knows what she's getting as a gift and has been a whole new girl since she found out. She laughs more and is getting to be her silly little self we haven't seen much of lately. She and Silver helped design the cake and they can't wait to get decorating.

So off I go to bake and decorate and continue to try and take everything that is running through my head and just put it aside for now. For it's All About Trinity today and tomorrow!

new digs

2010-08-19T06:49:00.004-05:00

We are going to start a new blog when we move into our new place. It will be different than this one in a few ways. It will be all about living in a small town in Nova Scotia, new friends, new foods, and hopefully a few kitchen parties (did I tell you our new kitchen is HUGE and totally cool). We just need to get our selves a big table. We want to explore all of Nova Scotia and all it has to offer. We will take a lot of pictures but you will probably never see our faces. I want it to be a bit more generic not so much about us personally but about the people and places here. There's a ton of Canadian culture and History here that we are excited to explore. I will post the link here once it's all set up. I'm still not 100% sure what it will be called.

What was that?

2010-08-16T11:51:00.004-05:00

Trinity "Silver what's your miracle?"

Silver "an X-Box, a new playstation 2, all the games ever made, except the discusting yuckie T games"

Trinity "No I mean whats your miracle, something that's important. Not video games. That's not import. Like having a baby soon, that's a miracle." (that would be a miracle)

Silver "O.K being a Rock Star so I could buy a big house."

Trinity "Oh yeah that's a miracle so you could be rich and never be poor. My miracle is to have Fergus sooner. Because he is going to be part of our family and that's important. That's a real miracle!"

So the moral of this story is...... Who IS Fergus...... to be continued........

The Sunny side of the street

2010-07-28T09:35:00.022-05:00

Today I am reflecting on some GREAT times we have had over the last month. through all the messiness of taking chances there are some amazing silver linings. Here are a few of ours.

Disney! We had a great time at Disney World. We did all the classic things like meet the characters, buy and wear Mickey ears, go on rides, walk ALOT, and eat really greasy expensive food. I tried hard to not take too many pictures. I didn't want to come away from the week with thousands of pictures and have to go through them all.

So We don't have tons of pics but more than enough to remember our week there. Trinity went to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and had her hair, makeup and nails done. She really loved it! She's such a girly girl sometimes:)

Silver went to the Pirate League and got some cool pirate gear. He also got to go into a secret room and choose some pirate treasure. It was cool. If you have kids at the age that would like this sort of thing it's totally worth it.

Beautiful Nova Scotia. People come from all over the world to see and experience the

landscape, food and friendly people. We have experienced all these things. We have eaten yummie Lobster at Hull's Harbour. Click the link and check out the webcam there. The lobster was great! The kids had a hard time eating it with the eyes staring at them so I had to cover the faces with napkins. It was a good time.

We also took a break from the stress of finding a home and spent the morning at Peggy's Cove. There were hundreds of people there. Our kids has so much fun running around on the smooth rocks. Silver was enjoying the whole Adventure of it all and kept saying so. Trinity was doing great keeping up with Silver who kept taking the "dangerous" way. It was another good day.

honest

2010-07-23T08:05:00.002-05:00

There are so many things I could write about right now. But I don't have the time or patience to get it all out. But if I did I would write about things like Education and what a pain in the ass it can be (no jobs, large loans, a long hard road ahead), feeling like an idiot for making choices that are more about others than us, not knowing what to do next and wondering if what you did before was a good thing, just wanting the kind of peace that can be found in a time of rest, trying to understand and appreciate our very up and down lives. It's a hard time right now, coming off a hard year of working in a place that was so draining on every level. I'm pretty sure the only things keeping me together right now are all the tea I'm drinking and my faith in God. Onward....... because there's no other direction to go.

Ready to blog

2010-07-12T20:31:00.002-05:00

Here we are in Nova Scotia and it's AWESOME! There are so many things we have experienced in the last few months. I got to a point where I just couldn't keep up with all the changes and I was just trying to finish well in Cayman. It's always hard to leave. There where things about Cayman we loved and things we didn't love. All in all it was a strengthening experience for all of us.

We are now moving forward with our plans to get established here in Nova Scotia. We have only been here one week but we have already seen and done so much. We are working hard on finding a home to rent. We want a place in a good neighborhood by a good school for our kids. It's tuff as there are so many other people looking for the same thing. We persevere.

There are some incredible people here. We have had so many strangers help us out. Through all the stress of relocating we have been surrounded by beautiful people and a beautiful landscape. I can't get over how pretty it is here. It's been raining for days and I welcome it wholeheartedly. I have worn a sweater everyday that we've been here. It's something I really missed while living in Cayman.

Well we have another long day tomorrow just getting things done so I need to get to sleep. I will post pictures as soon as I take some!

Mom's Day

2010-05-09T08:10:00.002-05:00

I love Mother's Day! As the kids get older it gets better. They can actually honestly express appreciation and write cool cards, and make neat crafts. I do love it. This year from Ryan I got a pass for Yoga classes. We are going to take them together. For me this is the best present for me right now. I feel squishy and need my pants to fit a little bit better :) We went out and had a lovely brunch at a place on the beach.

Everytime I do something like go to the beach (which is rarely), eat at a beach restaurant, walk out side with out a jacket, swim in a pool, eat a banana off a tree or chat with my Jamaican friends ( i will miss this a lot) I think about how it's all going to end soon. Only 6 weeks of school left. Then we leave two days later. We still need to sell some stuff, find a place to live, get jobs, and a million other things. I am much calmer this time around then when we moved here. I guess I've actually learned a thing or two. I know I've learned that I don't want to do this again anytime soon.

2010-05-05T21:52:00.002-05:00

Time to post. It's been an exhausting last month. We moved which took a lot of energy. We had to go through everything we have again and get rid of things and move things and pack things and store things (most of those things being books). I hate having to move the kids stuff so much. They are alright with it but I'm smart enough to know that you shouldn't move kids around too much. I look forward to moving very little in the next few years. I'd like to see the kids get comfortable and relaxed in a nice space they can call home. Silver is BUSTING for his own room. The kids will be having their own rooms in Halifax no matter what it takes. Even if Ryan and I need to sleep on a pull out in the living room!

There are approximately 32 days of school left. Yes I am counting down like all the kids in school. Summer holidays are just too awesome to not want them to come asap. I think about a year from now when we are more settled somewhere I can fully appreciate what this year as been to us. I'm a bit tired on so many levels right now to even care.

I don't really have a good 'outlet' right now. No painting, not much photography, haven't been watching much tv, no dance at all and no time to be creative with much else. I do enjoy the art I teach at school but I don't have time to prep at all so that makes it feel rushed and not as good as it should be.

It's now 10:00pm and well past my bed time. I have a hard time waking up in the morning and need to get to bed around 9. So off I go to sleep. Good night.

One more week

2010-03-27T22:19:00.005-05:00

Here we go again torn between two lands. One more week until spring break. We have started (as much as we can start) to plan our exit from Cayman. One more week until spring break. We have our tickets to Halifax and possibly a place to stay when we get there. One more week until spring break. Again we are doing this whole moving thing and it's a lot of work. One more week until spring break. We have to save money, sell some stuff, pack up the rest, say good bye to Gramma and Dude (that is going to suck) and try to stay sane through it all. One more week until spring break. Help!

We had a great visit with some cousins last week. One more week until spring break. The kids had such an amazing time hanging out with them. One more week until spring break. It was so nice to see our kids just relax and have a fun time playing with kids they felt comfortable with. One more week until spring break. Silver still doesn't have a good connection with kids here. One more week until spring break. He does try but most boys in his class play soccer every recess and it's hard to break into that. One more week until spring break. He cried pretty hard when the cousins left.

One more week until spring break. Trinity has made a couple of good friends but she loved playing with her cousins too. One more week until spring break. She can't wait for us to get to a place where we can get another dog (three if she had her way, and a rabbit, turtle, frog, donkey........). One more week until spring break.

We plan to take full advantage of the Island while we are still here. One more week until spring break. We will have as many beach days as possible, pool days, time with Grandparents, and time not wearing snow suits. One more week until spring break. Did I mention it's only one more week until spring break? One more week until spring break. We're all pretty excited about it:) One more week until spring break.

Two months, two shmonths

2010-03-06T13:43:00.004-05:00

I took these pictures today March 7th. We needed to get out of the house for a relaxing walk.

So it's been about two months and I can't remember everything that has happened but here are a few things.

We have spent over 200 dollars seeing the foot doctor. Silver got some crazy warts that just wouldn't leave and he had to have them removed. It was horrible. Needles, screaming, crying and a bill at the end.

Trinity also had some medical issues. She some how got some kind of fungus on her hands. It kind of turned her hands dark brown and then started to peel. We again saw the Doctor and again got a bill for some fancy cream. It's almost cleared up.

Being a Canadian I still can't get used to paying for Doctor visits. It's sucked up all our fun money for the past two months. Sucks.

We had sports day at the school last month. It was a really big deal. They run all sorts of races and some other stuff. All the kids in the school are split into 'houses'. Then the 'houses' compete against each other. Our house the Saints won! Yippie. Silver had a seriously ruff day. He was only signed up for two races because he was out sick the day the all signed up. So he was bummed. He got hit on the head with a cricket ball. They HURT. It was really hard to watch him have such a crappy day. Trinity on the other hand had a pretty good day. She ran a bunch of races and won some second and third place ribbons. Good for her!

Then came awards day. Silver got FIVE awards. Two for honor roll, one perfect attendance for the first 1/4 and I can't remember the other two. He also got a medal for being involved in the soccer team. He really earned that one. What a ruff time he had but he kept playing.

Trinity got 4 awards. Two for honor roll and again I can't remember the other two. But she was feelin great!

I was feeling healthy for one week and now again have caught something. My throat is crazy sore and if I don't take advil I can't even function. Half of the pre school class was out sick on Friday. Sickness just rules that class.

I finally got my camera but haven't had much time to snap photos. I am trying to get back to enjoying some hobbies. I have to force myself too. I half painted a picture I wonder if I will finish. O.K that's all for now. I will try to keep up with this from now on. Our internet connection has been really crappy the past few weeks so I haven't been on much. If it gets fixed I may be inspired to write more.

2010-01-08T20:23:00.013-05:00

Holidays are over and school is back in session. My body is still on the mend but things are looking good. Less coughing and less pills. We've had some amazing weather the past week. Cool wind and cloudy skies. A welcome change here on the island.We had a nice Christmas that was marred by a few trips to the Doctor for some of us. We didn't do some of our usual Christmas stuff like baking or gingerbread house making but we did some cool things.

On Christmas eve we went to look at all the Christmas lights. There are a few houses here that do a huge set up on their lawns. You can go and walk around and check them out. It was cool. We had a great Christmas day where the kids swam in the pool at Gramma and Dude's house and we ate a yummie turkey dinner.

Ryan loves his Kindle ( a little too much ) and I will love my camera if it ever gets here. It's been 4 weeks since it was mailed from Canada. I really hope it gets here eventually. I'm dying to use it.

I am determined to make the rest of this school year a great one. I have been finding myself so tired from working a full time job and still trying to do all the things I enjoy doing and need to do. I don't have time to sew or paint or really take my time baking or cooking. We continue to struggle to find the time to relax and enjoy each other. Not sure

how long we want to live like this. Both working full time and trying to raise these awesome kids. It's just not our number one choice for a way to live and make money.

Here are some pictures of our last few weeks.

Christmas Christmas time is here

2009-12-19T21:56:00.003-05:00

Holidays have officially started and I couldn't be happier. I still haven't started baking but by Monday or Tuesday I should have a good start. Even though I don't really feel like baking or eating a bunch of cookies I thought I would still do some just to keep up the tradition.

The kids had their school concert (like millions of other children). It was of course cute and entertaining. Here are a couple of short videos from the night.

Really don't have much to share this week. We are just resting our bodies, minds and spirits. We need to make some big decisions soon. Pray for us if you pray.

Trinity still misses Jane. Again she woke up in the middle of the night crying. Poor girl. I can't wait to get her another dog one day.

Silver is amazing. He's grown so much since being here. He amazes me. What a strong little guy.

It's beginning to NOT look a lot like Christmas

2009-12-04T21:32:00.011-05:00

Breathe. I am just coming up for air after two weeks of diving deep into work related projects and never ending sickness.

After I wrote that sentence I went back under for a few more stress filled days and more sickness. My body is so tired. I now have a headache everyday and can't seem to take any sort of deep breath. I may go see a Dr. this weekend but really I will just rest as much as possible and see how I am on Monday.

Alright let me catch you up on some happenings around here.

1. Silver had his FIRST outdoor birthday party! We was thrilled to be outside having fun with his pals. Here are a few pictures. Remember it's December and not a snowflake to be found.

2. We went to see Santa at Camana Bay. He was outside and there was fake snow flying out of machines. Fun times.

3. I did a lot of my Christmas shopping on line. I actually enjoyed it. I will post what I got Ryan because he NEVER reads this blog. I know, he should be writing in it. Maybe after Christmas or not. I'm sick of fighting Ryan everytime he wants to buy a book (because they're heavy and heavy means money when shipping stuff home one day). Sooooo I got him a Kindle. It's a thing that you can store electronic books on. Ahhhhh. Now he will only be allowed to buy books for the Kindle (while we are on the Island). This present is much more for me than him.

4. Trinity and I started playing violin. We have had three lessons. Keep that in mind when watching this:) VIDEO to be added soon

5.Silver and Trinity had a fun time at Grandma and Gramps place on Silver's birthday. They had a super cool treasure hunt. At the end they both got bikes! So awesome.

I have so much to write about but....... but.

I'm dreaming again. Now that's a great thing.

2009-11-19T18:00:00.002-05:00

What a long week this has been. We've had so many short weeks lately that a full 5 school day week has seemed unbearably long. Mostly due to the fact that I am still dragging my sick body around. I did however go to my first Yoga class ever and found it to be AMAZING. I relaxed, I learned and I sweat. My arms have been twitching since Monday. I can't wait to go back:)

I keep asking Ryan to post something but he is seriously working his butt of right now. He has a really heavy work load all year and it's getting hard for us to find time to just chill and enjoy our surroundings. Tonight he is away all evening with the high school on a retreat:( We are getting better at separating work and life. But as I said it is challenging with all the work we have to do. I find myself prepping stuff for the three art classes I have 4 nights a week. I enjoy it but not always fun.

Trinity is doing much better. She hasn't talked about Jane for a couple of weeks now and she is getting quite a few friends in her class. Tomorrow is Twins day in her class (two people dress the same) and two girls asked her so they will dress like triplets:) She is getting better at spelling and reading so she is feeling much more confident.

Silver is enjoying football and getting much better. Being around all the other kids who take it very seriously and push themselves is starting to rub off. He is still kickin butt in class with his marks. He loves getting A's and A+'s. He got his first A+ in science and was so excited! It was awesome. One funny thing is that Silver is already starting to get an Island accent. Oh boy!

I have some pictures to post but forgot my camera at school. So again I will post them later.

Strange things I did this week.
1. Went to see Santa. He was outside surrounded by palm trees.
2. Bought Egg Nog in a can.
3. flushed a tiny lizard down the toilet

sick

2009-11-12T11:25:00.004-05:00

As if moving, starting a new job, making new friends, finding a church, leaving everything important and not important behind, wearing a bathing suit more than twice a year and watching your family struggle with it all wasn't HARD enough why not throw in being horribly ill for weeks and weeks. I am now on antibiotics for the second time in one month. First it was sinus infection and now bronchitis/flu. Seriously this is crazy. I am trying hard to overcome this sickness but my body and mind just won't let me. I mean a body can only take so much. I can't do my usual just "just keep swimming" thing because it's making everything worse. For the first time in a LONG time I just have to sit and wait and feel helpless.
As much as I hate feeling helpless it is helping me to refocus and feel stronger. Questions I ask myself daily.
Why are we here?
What did we do?
How long can we do this?
I'm guessing that people who make big moves ask themselves those questions for a long time. I also guess that they fade after a while. I do have answers for all of those questions and good ones too but I still need to remind myself of those answers to keep moving forward.
In short I want to be healthy and strong again. Sooner rather than later.

Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens

2009-11-07T22:06:00.017-05:00

Adding to my list over the next week. I have linked some spots. Check them out if you have the time.
These are a few of my favorite things.......
1 My bag.
recently given to me. I have plans to embroider or add leather pieces to make some branches with leaves or flowers on it.
2 My hair colour.
I had it done this weekend. I've been feeling 'unpretty' (I'm sure most women have moments like that) and it was the boost I needed to just feel good. Bye bye for now gray hair. (picture to follow)
3 Going to the movies alone.
This is a new favorite thing for me. I've seen 'This is It' twice by myself in one week and it was great! I plan to do this more often.
4 The rain. Video taken this afternoon.

Not a new fav thing. I have pretty much always loved it. As a child we used to sit on our front porch and watch the thunder and lighting storms. So it's comforting I guess.
5 My espresso machine.
This is the only thing I brought just for me. Even though I miss going to *bucks for my drink at least I can make one myself (not quite the same though).
6 Hope. Although hard to find in me lately I cling to it.
7 The Post Secret blog. I have checked this blog every Sunday morning (almost) for over three years. People from all over the world send post cards revealing their secrets. Some are funny some are sad and some are scary. I love them all because it reminds me that there are other 'humans' out there. Feeling, breathing, hurting, laughing and suffering.
8 The fact that there is a hurricane named Ida roaring through the Caribbean right now. For those of you who don't know my first name is Ida. I like this fact because inside I feel like a hurricane:)
9 Foy Vance. Amazing singer song writer. I was hoping and praying that I would be inspired by some music and this guy has done it for now. Check him out on youtube. Here are my three favorite songs.
Foy Vance sings Indiscriminate Act of Kindness

Foy Vance sings First of July - this is my favorite

Foy Vance sings Gabriel and the Vagabond

10. The book I am currently reading Anne Frank Diary of a young girl. I have wanted to read this book for years and I have finally found the moment and what a perfect moment. I should tell you that before I was married I actually read books from cover to cover. As life changed with kids, jobs, moving and a million other things my reading habits never fully adjusted. So the fact that I am reading at all is a big deal. This book is amazing for many reasons but for me personally it's so timely. I can relate to how Anne was feeling being trapped in that attic with no real freedom to move about and be herself. But at the same time feeling grateful for the opportunity to even be in the 'secret annex' was such a blessing.

11. People who know me. When you move to a place where no one knows you it can be a scary thing. On the other hand I actually really like being a face in the crowd who doesn't know anyone and no one knows me. BUT when surrounded by people who don't know you they don't know whether they can trust you, what you are capable of, if you're 'normal' and not crazy, what you love to do what you're good at and,what you've done in the past. So I miss having people around who know me. People who can feel safe around me and I around them.

I may add to this list over the next week.

Our Halloween and other strange things

2009-11-04T23:31:00.009-05:00

So we got dressed up and went out this Hallowe'en. It was different....... surprise, surprise. We went to a couple of places. First Camana Bay for some trick or treating and fun stuff. Then to a neighborhood someone told us would be a good place to go. To sum it all up we had to drive from house to house because only about 20% (if that) on every street where actually giving away candy. We actually went to one HUGE house where two ladies were out on the porch having wine and desserts while the 'help' was handing out the candy. It was weird and felt gross. There are very clear lines here between those with money and those with little. I guess it's just the same story all over the world. Here it's just really clear. We also went to a place where the people were so friendly and sweet. The kids were given heaps of candy and Ryan and I were offered some 'refreshments'. It was GREAT to not have to bundle the kids up in coats and hats. In fact it was so warm that Silver wore only underwear under his costume and Trinity was hot with her scrubs and Dr. coat on. After that we stopped in at Grand Harbor then the kids begged us to take them home.

Halloween seems like a million miles away now. It's been a crazy week here for us. People keep telling us "this is just the way it is here" or "Welcome to the Caribbean". We are staying focused. We know why we are here. More time with family less time working.

Ryan has been learning to sail and even took us all out on a boat a few weekends ago. He is also going to start diving. I think I might like the diving but it's just too much of an expense for now. I am going to start taking violin lessons with Trinity next week! That should be a good time.

I haven't painted a thing since we got here. I do have my paints and I bought some canvas but I just couldn't find the time. I am going to try and make this weekend the time to start. We need some colour in our place and I need to seriously release some emotions. I miss dancing. I am going to try and sign Ryan and I up for a class of some sort. Maybe Salsa:) That would be great!

I wish I had more pictures but alas I still hate my camera. I should really do something about that.

2009-10-29T22:42:00.003-05:00

Picture by Rodney S Braun
So I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself these past two weeks. It's just a phase I'm sure. I think most of it has to do with my brain and body adjusting to weather. Seriously. It totally doesn't feel like Autumn. I miss the cool air, beautiful leaves, sweaters and socks and the mental prep for winter. The weather here has been a bit rainy which I have loved. When it's not raining it's hot. I think it will take at least 6 months to get used to the heat. People say it will cool down soon, but really that just means it will go from HOT to hot. I am NOT complaining. Just trying to get used to it. Also I stopped taking pictures because I decided I hate my camera. I was trying to take some cool shots and my camera wouldn't focus or take any of the pictures I wanted so I just stopped. I want a Rebel like all my cool friends have. I'm just whining.

Silver has been doing so well in school. His marks are soaring and even though he doesn't seem to have any friends in his own grade he does have a good time playing at recess with some of the grade ones. He is starting to enjoy football after a bit of a struggle with the game. Ryan and I really need to do our homework with him and get him practicing more.
Amazing picture by Rodney S Braun
Trinity is really struggling. She talks about Jane everyday and we had to go out and buy Jane and the other dogs she lives with some toys and dog bones. We are going to mail them tomorrow. I'm sure it will cost us a small fortune to send but it is making her happy. She couldn't sleep tonight because as she said "I'm having too many thoughts of Jane". I don't think she will ever get over losing Jane but I also know that once we get her another dog (when we move back to Canada one day) it will lesson the pain. She's doing great in school and is starting to make some friends.

Halloween! In usual form Silver will be dressing up as a Star Wars character. We ordered him a very cool X-wing fighter costume and thanks to Nannie we got it in time for Saturday. Trinity is going as a Vet. Totally not surprised. I am having someone make her some little scrubs and we found a dress up Vet coat and some Dr. supplies. Halloween is pretty down played here on the island. We are going to take the kids to Camana Bay for their events and then off for some trick or treating in one of the areas of the island where kids trick or treat. It should be a fun night.

We just had a 4 day weekend and in two weeks we have another one. There are quite a lot of 'holidays' here. I kinda like it:)

Trouble in Paradise

2009-10-17T02:59:00.002-05:00

So I've been sick for about three weeks now. One day I feel like I'm on the mend then the next I feel terrible again. Tonight we finally went to see a Dr. and found out I have a sinus infection. Well at least now I have some meds to take and should start to feel better in a few days.

The Iquana outside Trinity's window

Things have been moving along the last two weeks. Up early, school, home, sleep then we get up and do it all again. It feels nice to have a steady schedule and all be in the same place. The kids had their first football game last Saturday. Silver was so happy and proud to be on the team. I am so proud of him for sticking it out and choosing to play. Football is a pretty big deal here. Sort of like hockey in Canada. Our kids aren't used to the competitiveness of it all. It's a bit heart breaking really.

Super Silver

I am constantly trying to find ways to build the kids confidence. Silver plays on his own a lot and misses his buddies in Canada. Trinity seems to be making up illnesses like sore legs, stomach aches or sore throat to get out of class and see the nurse or me. She talks about Jane (the dog we had to leave behind) almost daily. She really misses her. Not much we can do about that. I told her we would get a dog when we move back to Canada one day.

More fun at the pool

I will add some pictures tomorrow. The camera is in Lulu (our vehicle) and I don't want to go and get it.

To sum everything up. I'm tired, the kids are still struggling and no one has come to visit us yet. Oh but I did buy some tickets for the Alicia Keys concert in December. I'm very excited about that!

some grapes I had that I just Had to take a picture of.
The way I like to enjoy the 'pool'.

Well bless you.

Friday seems to be the day

2009-10-02T20:56:00.000-05:00

Checking out the crazy sudden rain storm.

Friday is my favorite day of the week here in Cayman. It marks the end of an always busy work week, school ends at 1:00pm, we always have a good family time and I catch up with my blogging and facebook pages.
Windy!

This was a bit of a different week for me. Monday and Tuesday were in-service days so the kids (lucky monkeys) got to spend two whole days with Gramma and Dude (sleep over included) and Ryan and I had meetings at the school. I actually took a First Aid and CPR course with the Red Cross. It was good to take the class. I did learn a few things. Now at least if anything happens I am much more equipped to handle it. It's so funny to me how the sight of bloody pictures makes me dizzy. I was not always like this. Hopefully if needed I can keep it together long enough to bandage someone up before I throw up and pass out.

Silver taking a rain shower.

Trinity and I have been sick since Wednesday. Did we stay home from work and school? No. I just didn't want to miss anything and get more behind on the projects I need to have done for the Pre School classroom. I hate being behind.

The kids start playing actual soccer games against other schools next weekend. Trinity has decided to stay on the team. I actually gave her an incentive to keep going. She (and Silver) get money added to their allowance for every practice and game they go to. I just didn't want to see her quit. Although I am NOT looking forward to early morning games on Saturdays.

I'm tired and still sick so this isn't every interesting. On a fun note I am going to start taking violin lessons soon! Excited!
Did I mention we have a Gerbil? This was Trinity's birthday present. She misses Jane to much and she really just wanted a pet. So meet our newest family member Love.

Here or There

2009-09-25T22:36:00.000-05:00

Things I don't have here but wish I did.
1. shopping mall - I know it's sick but you don't realize how convenient they are until you don't have one
2. cold water - the "cold" water that comes out of the tap is lukewarm
3. changing leaves
4. the kids friends
5. the Vineyard
6. cel phones that work properly
7. good butter
THE FORKS

It's been a hard week for many reasons. I have been fighting off a sore throat that seems to be getting worse and worse. I pretty much destroyed the laminator at the school..... well not exactly destroyed but I did put it out of commission for a few days. Now I'm afraid to use it. Getting up at 6am ( I should really be getting up at 5:30) everyday is getting pretty tiresome. I've been a bit home sick too. That's funny because I don't really have a place to be home sick over. I just miss little things like driving down to the Forks with my family or a walk at Assiniboine Park. The sculpture garden is so pretty in the fall.AT LEO MOL SCULPTURE GARDEN '06

I've also been thinking a lot about people I met at the mission (Siloam Mission). I've been asking myself questions like. What is ____ doing right now?
Is ____ still reading books on watercolour painting?
I wonder if ______ is still sober and creating amazing works of art everyone loved?
What was that joke _____ told me that I laughed so hard at?
Man I loved my time there. Hard as it was at times (which actually were some of the best times) I loved it.
Well I'm tired and need rest. We have been invited to go out to Sting Ray City tomorrow morning with some people who also just moved here and have two kids. Making friends is always hard for me. I wish it was easier. Good night.

Did I grow wings?

2009-09-19T11:33:00.000-05:00

Lizard. They're everywhere.

Time has been flying by these past few weeks. Getting here was such a long laborious process which seemed to take forever. But now the days are quickly passing and we have so much we should be doing but where to find the time???

When we first got here I made a commitment to myself to send people mail. Postcards, letters, pictures and boxes with fun treats. Well I have three packages ready to send but haven't gotten tot he post office for two weeks! Today is the day to remedy that. Facebook and phone are great for staying connected of course but there's nothing like a piece of mail to hold and read over and over.

School is going well for all of us. Some days it's hard to get the kids motivated in the mornings but other than that it's been fairly smooth. Football (soccer) practice has started and both Silver and Trinity have joined. Trinity is the ONLY girl in the whole school who is playing. Apparently the boys play football and the girls play netball. Well I think it's a bit sad that more girls don't play. She is having a hard time already. She has mentioned a few kids have said rude things to her about it. It may prove to be too difficult for her to continue. I mean she's only 6. She's not really ready for all that pressure of being the only girl.
Silver is really growing to love the sport. He is on a team with kids younger that him and all his classmates are in the older teams but he still wants to continue. I'm so proud of him. He has been doing very well in school. He has been getting mostly A's and B's because he studies and gives his best. We are working hard on catching him up in Cursive and Math.

At the school we celebrated Grandparents Day by inviting the Grandparents of students in to the classrooms to share stories, talents or to just observe. We had a good time in Pre School with a room full of Grandparents.

Gramma and Dude came to Silver and Trinity's class and Dude played his harmonica. The kids loved it! I can tell Silver and Trinity are still getting use to having Grandparents (or any family for that matter) around. They totally love it!
I hope I can up date much sooner this week but don't count on it. The days might fly by again.

List of Loves

2009-09-10T16:59:00.000-05:00

1. Seeing the janitor shew a cow out of the school parking lot
2. Finding out that the teacher I work with had her baby at the same hospital in Winnipeg I had Trinity at. The teacher is from Jamaica. Love it.
3. Teaching art
4. Random groups of chickens
5. Getting mail
6. Sending mail
7. Music
8. Dancing in open spaces
9. Chasing lizards
10. Family
11. Creating
12. Change

Back to school

2009-09-02T20:10:00.000-05:00

Let me begin this post by saying that yesterday I slept for 10 hours straight got up for 5 hours then slept again for 9 hours. I was hit with a crazy flu bug that just took me out for one whole day. It was CRAZY. The only time I have ever experienced anything like that before was when I had food poisoning about 11 years ago in Kamloops. It was a very un-welcomed illness in the midst of a crazy first few weeks at school.
Trinity in the pool.

Things are going well. I have been busy in the Pre School making charts and wiping noses. The kids are a really great group. I have been hugged and told I'm loved by more than half of them already and it's only been a week and a half:)

Ryan is really enjoying teaching High School. He is starting a sailing club which is something he has been interested in for a while. I will try to get him to write an update in his own words soon.

The kids are finding their way through new subjects such as US Geography and Spanish. They are also making new friends and getting to know their teachers. Silver is coming out of his shell a little and talking in class. Trinity is doing well and has only had one day she said she didn't want to go.

Here we are set up to watch a movie outside at Camana Bay. Every Tuesday night they show a movie for free. It's really cool. Camana Bay is a really cool place that has a book store, coffe shop, movie theater, shops, apartments, fountains and this cool place where they show the movies.Fun in the pool.

So here we are. Settling in. Living day in and day out. It's fun but difficult. I still don't know which chicken to buy at the store or where a good bakery is. But no worries I've got time to figure it out.

A time of growth

2009-08-21T17:53:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago we bought some seeds, dirt and pots. A week after that (we just didn't seem to find the time) we planted the seeds and have been watching them grow. I can't believe how fast they are growing. The pictures here are one week after planting. The tomato plants we bought as plants as well as two of the herb plants but everything else is from seed.

Amazing! I love growing things.

For the past few years I have wanted a lemon tree.
Ryan and I have dreamed of picking our own lemons from a tree in our backyard. Well We bought the tree but I'm sure it will be years before lemons can be picked off it's branches.

It's so beautiful and smells amazing. When we bought the tree a lady who worked at the Nursery sang us a little song about how lemon trees smell wonderful and have beautiful flowers. It was a really memorable experience.

This week we have been at the school everyday preparing classrooms, boards and lesson plans. I (Alexandra) will be a teaching assistant in the Pre School. I'm looking forward to being with the cute little ones. I will also be teaching Art to grades 1-3 to help the amazing Art teacher. So I get to be in my kids classes at least once a week! Amazing. We are blessed!

First Day and sunset pictures

2009-08-14T21:19:00.000-05:00

Pictures of the sun setting tonight. We left the beach early and didn't catch the whole thing.

Today was our first day at the new school. Long story short it was AWESOME! We learned about the school including the vision and some school history. We meet some of the other new staff who where all very cool. It's so amazing to be surrounded by people from different cultures. I'm really going to love this.

We also learned a bit about Cayman and the history. It was really amazing.

The kids were a bit stressed last night and couldn't fall asleep. I was a bit nervous for them too. While Ryan and I were in a meeting this morning they were being taken care of. When we got there another teachers child was there as well and he is the same age as Silver! This was a big bonus. The kids ended up having a great time and are excited to get school started.

When we arrived here we had some issues with our work permits and passports. Well that all got worked out today as well. It's been a good day. Now there's only this weekend left before Ryan gets working in his classroom everyday and then the kids start school Friday!

Sea Turtles and boat rides

2009-08-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

A rare picture of all of us! This was at the end of a long (fun) afternoon cruising around the island. The kids where so tired.

Just over two weeks on the Island now. I have realized how much is not available on the island. In Canada we are just so used to having everything available. If it's not available at the store down the street we can easily order it on line and have "it" delivered within a few days. Even ordering on line here is difficult. Most places won't deliver here or it would cost so much it's not worth it. As frustrating as this is I am secretly enjoying it. It just makes me have to work harder and be more creative.

For instance I have been trying to find storage bins or drawers or toy boxes. I have found nothing. Seriously nothing. So the kids toys are all over the place or still in a suitcase. It's fine but they aren't really playing with them because they just don't have a familiar place yet. I know it will come.

Here is a sting ray at a place called sting ray city. We stopped here on our boating journey. It's a reef spot about 3-4 feet deep. We all got out and swam with the sting rays. Trinity was super excited to be able to touch one. Silver was a little more freaked out but within a few minutes he was relaxed and having fun too!

The other day Silver asked if they could start school tomorrow so they could make some friends. I see how much they miss their friends. It's hard. Trinity said one day out of know where "I miss our house, I miss Jane". It almost made me cry. I know these things will come too. It just makes me so sad to see the kids this way.

Here we are at the Turtle Farm. We spent an afternoon there learning about Green Sea Turtles. It was awesome.

We are trying to do fun things to keep us busy and not focused on all the transition. We have done some cool stuff. We've been to the Turtle Farm, on a boat cruise, swam in the pool and trips to the beach of course. We are reminding ourselves that we are on summer break and need to relax amidst all the craziness.

On Sunday we where invited to join a group of about 25 people to cruise around the island for the afternoon. It was a really cool experience. The kids loved it!

Rubber chicken beach

2009-08-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

Our 7 Rubbermaid bins are coming today. I am a little nervous about where I am going to put everything. It's not a lot of stuff but it's hard to find a "home" for everything. We need to seriously get some toy boxes or something for the kids to put their toys in. We are going to hit some moving sales this weekend to see what treasures we can find. When people move off Island they sell a lot of stuff so we should get some good deals.

Here is a quick list of things I already miss and wish I had brought
1. Sewing machine (left it behind at the last minute because my sister said it would break on the journey. I knew she was right so I left it.)

2. Kitchenaid mixer. It's not so bad right now because my Mother-in-Law has one but it won't be here for long.

3. Tupperware. This one I REALLY wish I would have brought. But it just took up so much room in the luggage it couldn't come. If we stay longer than one year I am totally going to bring it!

I've been to the grocery store 4 times and we've only been here for 6 days. It's driving me crazy not knowing how to shop here. We bought some chicken yesterday to put in our Oriental Chicken Salad. I cooked it tonight the same way I always do and it was weird. Apparently it matters what brand you buy. Just about any store back home you could buy chicken and pretty much expect a certain result. Well it's going to be a bit more complicated here. It's all just a matter of trying stuff and seeing what we like. Can you believe I just wrote a whole paragraph about chicken.

Here are some pictures of our trip to the beach today. A place called Rum Point. Amazing.

Everyday is full of adventure

2009-08-01T20:49:00.000-05:00

We did it. We are here. It's hot, it's beautiful and Trinity wants to know where Grandma is (she is in Vancouver with her parents).

I spent almost the whole day unpacking our 8 large suitcases and 8 carry-ons. It was a lot harder than I expected. Most of our clothes where dirty so we did about 6 loads of laundry.

We went to the grocery store and it was also harder than expected. All the packaging was different and I didn't know where anything was. Not a big deal I know but a bit frustrating. I know that the best thing for our family is to get settled in anyway we can. I took the kids books out yesterday and put them on the shelf. They where so excited to see them again. They both sat for about two hours and just looked through the books.

I took the kids to the beach this morning. We where only there about 1 hour but that was long enough to tire us all out.

After lunch we all went to the skate park so Silver could check it out. It cost 8.00 for a day pass. It felt strange to pay for Silver to skate. All the parks in Canada are public parks free of charge. It wasn't a big deal I just didn't expect it to be a charge. If he continues to enjoy skating then maybe we will look into a year membership.
I'm exhausted from the heat. I know, I know I shouldn't complain.

Almost there

2009-07-29T20:41:00.000-05:00

We got to Minneapolis Monday around 6pm. We drove our van all the way here in 3rd gear! It wouldn't switch into 4th. We stopped at the boarder to do all the paperwork for importing the van. We where only there for about 30mins. We couldn't have asked for a better trip. By the time we got to Minneapolis the van was stalling at almost every stop but it's all over now and we only have one more day until we catch our flight to Cayman.
We have had fun here in Minneapolis with the DeLorenzi's. Today was a fun day at the Mall of America. Of course Lego land was a hit with the boys and Trinity made a Build a Bear.

The kids are doing well but we can tell they are tired of all this transition and ready to just get there already! I have to admit that I feel the same. I'm ready to get to Cayman, unpack and start to settle in. I'm sick of wondering if I brought the right stuff, if I will miss my Kitchen Aid mixer (I will), what the food in the grocery stores will be like and how we will all do in the heat.
The thing I'm ready for the most is having time to reflect on the past 6 years. It's been a good 6 years but there hasn't been much time to just stop and smell the roses. This year we plan to take time to stop and smell all the flowers and of course we won't forget the sunscreen.

2009-07-20T16:23:00.000-05:00

The move was great. Even though I was really nervous about the van. It did a great job.

So begins the journey and we are now in Thunder Bay preparing for the big jump off the main land. This jump is possible on the back of our families. We are spending some time at the DeLorenzi's house where good times and good food are in full swing. The kids are having a nice time with their cousins and we are trying to get a little R&R.
Ryan

Ready

2009-07-12T15:04:00.000-05:00

We have seen Doctors, dentists and lawyers. Packed our most prized possessions. Filled out all the paperwork (almost all of it). Been to all our favorite places. Said good-bye to the special people. Booked the Uhaul. Bought the tickets and made all the plans. Only two more days to go until the big move!

So begins our journey from the ice and snow (for 6-7 months of the year) to the land of sun and sand. We have loved our time here in Winnipeg for so many reasons. Mostly because of the amazing people we have met and connected with. Now we will start this new page in our lives filled with wisdom, hope and the support of friends and family.

We are so ready for this. We are ready for new adventures and walking into the unknown. Even our kids are ready. They will of course miss their good friends but they are full of excitement for the new friends they will make.

We are ready for more time spent together. More quality time. Time to just sit and breathe and breathe.

You can follow our journey here. Feel free to just stop in and say hi. We leave our home wishing we could take parts of it with us including people.

Here we go.

photo by Rebecca Croft
http://www.rebeccacroft.com