Thursday, November 12, 2009


As if moving, starting a new job, making new friends, finding a church, leaving everything important and not important behind, wearing a bathing suit more than twice a year and watching your family struggle with it all wasn't HARD enough why not throw in being horribly ill for weeks and weeks. I am now on antibiotics for the second time in one month. First it was sinus infection and now bronchitis/flu. Seriously this is crazy. I am trying hard to overcome this sickness but my body and mind just won't let me. I mean a body can only take so much. I can't do my usual just "just keep swimming" thing because it's making everything worse. For the first time in a LONG time I just have to sit and wait and feel helpless.
As much as I hate feeling helpless it is helping me to refocus and feel stronger. Questions I ask myself daily.
Why are we here?
What did we do?
How long can we do this?
I'm guessing that people who make big moves ask themselves those questions for a long time. I also guess that they fade after a while. I do have answers for all of those questions and good ones too but I still need to remind myself of those answers to keep moving forward.
In short I want to be healthy and strong again. Sooner rather than later.


Kellie Huffman said...

Awwww! I want you healthy and strong again too. I get that "I must lie here and be helpless for my own good" thing. Had to do it for a long time to get over my surgery in '05. If you don't do it you will regret it later so EMBRACE THE HELPLESSNESS!

Praying for you.

Heavenly said...

I hate being sick, as soon as I start to feel ill I get furious. I hate weakness in myself but I accept it in others so willingly.
Sorry you feel crappy, look at the bright side, at least you do not have to feel crappy and shovel snow!